As I visit with my doctors, read up on the materials I've been given and provide friends and family updates, there's so much focus on the side effects. It makes me think about all of the positive side effects that don't get near as much attention...
- I'm learning that no matter how strong I thought I was, I'm even stronger.
- My family and friends have all stood up to help bear this burden, and I'm learning that each is even more creative, kind, generous and resourceful than I had already given them credit for.
- I'm figuring out how to ask for and receive help, hopefully with grace - Steve might argue the graceful part and I think Jen may have mentioned something about 'unrelenting bossiness', but I'm giving myself the benefit of the doubt here.
- I feel a new depth of love and respect for all of those supporting me through this - and for myself.
- I'm finding new ways to interact with Van that are just as enjoyable. Thanks for the suggestions, Kristy.
- I have to change fewer diapers and it doesn't look like I have to cook a meal until Thanksgiving.
- I have renewed friendships from high school and college that, purely due to geography and the usual complications of life, had been dormant the last several years - and not surprisingly, I'm finding as much joy, humor and comfort in those relationships as I did years ago.
- I threw away the Weight Watchers book and points calculator.
- I'm slowing down and really appreciating everything around me, especially the simple pleasures. Service with a smile AND fresh scones at the bank on a Saturday morning? What a great day!
So much anxiety, fear, courage, laughter, pain, relief, love, appreciation - it's quite the rollercoaster, this journey!
Keel--
ReplyDeleteKnowing we share a love for lit, this is one I call upon often--I thought it could give you just a little of what you need, when you need it.
Be Mighty--Alto
If
By Rudyard Kipling
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;
If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it-
Well, I was going to post something silly, but not sure I can now. Thanks Alt! :)
ReplyDeleteThe Hunters are thinking and praying for you, Steve and Donovan. Keely, you are strong, wonderful and yes, bossy! Not sure this is new though! Much love from Rachael, Jeff, Lilly and James Raz!
I know another thing you've learned to do...turn us all into blubbering saps when we read your blog. Keep em coming...at least it's less embarrassing than my usual bawling while watching Oprah.
ReplyDeleteKeep jumping those hurdles.:)
ReplyDelete