Karma

When I left the hospital they gave me a page of written discharge directions which instructed me to 'ambulate', so I've been making an effort to get out and walk regularly. I started with jaunts around the block, Van pushing his bubble lawnmower along beside me. I've been building up to longer, albeit slow walks a few miles across the park. These are usually followed by a nap, but I digress.

On the east side of the park, just below the Museum of Natural History, there's a fountain - around the fountain are a series of benches, one of which is dedicated to our friend Greg, who succumbed to colon cancer in February of 2009, after a truly valiant battle.

I've been finding myself drawn to the bench lately. About a mile and half from the house, it provides a perfect pit stop. And it boasts arguably the most stunning view in all of Denver. It overlooks the lake and pavilion on the west side of the park, backed up by the downtown skyline and beyond that, the Rocky Mountains, the peaks still frosted with the last of Spring snow. In the summertime, the fountain alongside will be surrounded by picnicking families, giggling children dashing through the water spouts.

Sitting around in the sunshine, there's a lot to think about. On my last visit, I mused a bit about karma. Greg's diagnosis had derailed what was a faint interest/belief in the idea. I certainly appreciate the Hindu concept of an immortal soul's journey to a higher spiritual existence, but I really didn't like the idea that his cancer in this lifetime was cultivated through some past life action. Oddly, I've been rethinking the concept lately and it doesn't bother me as much in the context of my own diagnosis. I'm actually OK with the idea that I might be paying off some grand debt to the universe. I feel like I'm generating good karma in this life, and if conquering cancer now makes me square for any past life transgressions, I think I should be solid as I approach the next spiritual plane. In the meantime, I'll do my best not to screw up this power position as I enjoy the next 50+ years of this lifetime...